For a team that runs itself based on Christian ethic, you’d think that the Colorado Rockies would have a better record for games played on Sunday. And by better, I mean not losing 17 straight games on God’s holiest of days.
For years, the Rockies organization has prided itself on placing an extremely high value on character, with that stance supposedly coming from a Christianity-based code of conduct. This ideology has been subject to much specualtion and debate (and even some dispute) since it was first reported. Well, if the Rockies had never considered softening their stance before, today might be the day to do it because up until their 5-3 victory over the Dodgers yesterday, Colorado had lost 17 consecutive games on Sunday, God’s Day. Call it blasphemy if you want, but I’m pretty sure that means God is not exactly down with the way the Rockies run their team.
As we’ve learned from the post-game celebration speeches of athlete’s over the decades, it is that God cares deeply about the outcome of sporting events. He decides who his clutch homers. He decides who catches the ball. He decides who wins. Well, Rockies, He decided that you suck.
There is clearly only one solution now if that the Lord has made his feelings for the Rockies so clear, the Rockies must turn to Satanism. Forget about the seventh inning stretch. Get ready for the seventh human sacrifice. Gone is the pre-game national anthem, taking its place is Judas Priest music played backwards. Do it, Colorado. Embrace Lucifer! Let the Dark Lord show you the way to the baseball promise land!!! After all, it has worked for the Yankees for all these years. (Editor’s Note: ZING!)
Also last night: The Tigers completed their sweep of the Indians, putting them in the driver’s seat in the AL Central… Arizona loses their fifth straight, but remain in first place… and finally, former top Giant prospect Jerome Williams made his first start since 2007 and got his first win since 2005.
What to watch tonight: I tried hard to find a match-up with loads of playoff race implications, but since there aren’t really any races left, that wasn’t too easy. Instead, how about just a good game between good teams with good pitchers? Red Sox vs. Rangers? Check! Erik Bedard vs. C.J. Wilson? Check (unless Bedard’s arm falls off, which is has a 20% chance of happening)! If that isn’t good enough for you, I don’t know what to tell you. Full schedule with probable pitchers here.
