Ask Amy column duped by Keith Hernandez plot from Seinfeld fan

NBC last aired a new episode of Seinfeld in 1998, but the lasting legacy of the show continues to find new ways to live on forever. From an Australian bar inspired by none other than George Costanza to the annual celebration of Festivus, Seinfeld has proven to have some serious staying power. Our latest example of the Seinfeld legacy continuing to generate some laughs takes us to a recent Ask Amy column, where the infamous relationship between Jerry Seinfeld and one Keith Hernandez — I despise Keith Hernandez! — has managed to slip through the editorial filters of the nationally syndicated advice column.

The letter submitted to Amy Dickinson details the interaction before a man and a former professional athlete, which was initiated in the locker room of a local gym. The former star player approached the man and the two later exchanged information and became quick friends. The athlete then asks about an ex-girlfriend of his new pal, and yada yada yada the former star athlete calls up the man and asks him to help him move.

I recently ran into a famous local sports figure at my gym.

I didn’t want to bother him but much to my surprise he approached me. Turns out he knew me from my profession. He asked if I wanted to go out for coffee and we exchanged numbers. A few days later we had coffee and I thought it was pretty cool that he considered us friends.

Then everything changed. He told me he was interested in taking out a woman we ran into. She is my ex-girlfriend and we’ve remained good friends. He asked me a couple of times if I wouldn’t mind if he asked her out. I reluctantly said no. I made plans with him, and then after talking to my ex I found out that he ditched our plans to go out with her.

The next day he called me and asked if I could help him move some furniture. I barely know the guy, next thing he will be asking me to drive him to the airport. Two friends of mine warned me not to trust this guy. What’s the deal — am I being too rash or should I dump the guy as a friend?— Feeling Foolish

If this sounds a little too familiar, that’s because it is the basic plot to “The Boyfriend,” from the second half of the third season of Seinfeld, in which Jerry meets Keith Hernandez, the two hit it off and Jerry ultimately becomes jealous of Elaine for dating Hernandez. That is, of course, until Hernandez “whips it out.” And that was no accident. Upon word of Jerry’s budding relationship with Hernandez, Kramer and Newman detail their brush with the former New York Met in JFK-like fashion. The tale of the magic loogie remains one of the finer moments from Seinfeld’s successful run on NBC.

The advice columnist did offer some advice, as she typically will do.

The good news here is that you won’t have to dump the guy as a friend because he is not a friend. He’s an opportunist who just keeps asking you for stuff. I suspect that when you turn down his generous offer to let you move furniture for him, you’ll likely never hear from him again.

Not to burst your bubble, boy, but it would seem the memory of Newman and the accuracy of his story as explained to Jerry is also not quite locked in. Newman says the Mets and Phillies played on June 14, 1987. The Mets were playing, and winning, in Pittsburgh that very day (Hernandez was 2-for-3 with 2 RBI). The Phillies did win that day, with a six-run seventh inning powering them by the Montreal Expos on the road (Mike Schmidt had a six-RBI game)

[, The Denver Post]

About Kevin McGuire

Contributor to Athlon Sports and The Comeback. Previously contributed to Host of the Locked On Nittany Lions Podcast. FWAA member and Philadelphia-area resident.